


The One with Humanized Websites

by Lepord257



Category: websites
Genre: I Don't Even Know, I'm so sorry but not really, it sort of just happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 06:51:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lepord257/pseuds/Lepord257
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just some shorts where tumblr and his friends go about their daily lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One with Humanized Websites

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sornek](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sornek/gifts).



> So this was writen as a Christmas present for my friend Sornek, but it'll probably grow because this is just too much fun. I don't have a beta so any mistakes are my own.

For weeks- no, months- tumblr had been looking forward to this day. The day when everything changes. The day when the stars align, all is perfect, and everything updates at once. The websites and browsers who still had half a brain left had been dreading it. Finales, premieres, new albums and books were all coming out on the same day. No one was as excited as tumblr and no one was as apprehensive as Google Chrome. After all, she would be the one who had to deal with him when it finally happened; and she wouldn’t be getting help from anyone else either. They all had the good sense to stay well away from him on update days and his big brother, DeviantART would be having his own problems.  
Chrome had just finished prepping their shared apartment for the oncoming storm and was surveying her work with a resigned, tired air. The fridge and pantry was stocked with junk food and soda, pillows just big enough to hide a tear streaked face in completely hid the couch, and stupid posters of fluffy kittens were on the wall. Chrome still wasn’t sure if they did any good, but they always made her feel better. She’d made certain to remove any and all small, heavy objects from the vicinity of the TV. Leaving them was a mistake only made once. She really shouldn’t be as experienced at this as she was, she thought. Prepping for an emotional wreck was not something she’d ever pictured herself being good at. Every goddamned November…  
“Chrome! Hey Chrome, guess what!” Speak of the devil.  
“Hey tumblr. What is it?” Chrome turned around to watch tumblr skip into the apartment and fling himself onto the couch. The move dislodged the ridiculous cop hat he wore from his head and it fell, ignored, onto the hardwood floor.  
“Nooooo, you have to guess!”  
“I have no idea,” she deadpanned.  
Without any warning, tumblr sat bolt upright and whispered, “It’s tomorrow. Everything updates tomorrow.”  
“I didn’t know that. I certainly didn’t hear you counting down the days since April.” At this point Chrome had wandered into the kitchen, trying to remember if she had anything that wasn’t microwaveable or chips. She didn’t.  
Back in the living room, tumblr had once again fallen into the couch. “Was that really necessary?” he called to his friend.  
“Yes.”  
“I don’t think I can wait anymore. It’s like, hours until everything happens. What am I going to do to fill the empty hours?” Chrome tried not to smile. She really did. tumblr was so over dramatic, it was annoying sometimes. And sometimes, like now, the flailing and energetic gestures were adorable. She’d never tell him though. tumblr + compliment = unnecessary issues that Chrome really didn’t need to deal with right now.  
Instead she just grinned and suggested, “You could help me clean up the house.”  
The look of sheer terror on tumblr’s face was enough to send a lesser woman into a fit of laughter. “Why would you say that?!”  
As she wasn’t a lesser woman, Chrome just chuckled a bit and retreated to her room. Her roommate would be just fine.

~t~GC~t~GC~t~GC~t~GC~t~GC~t~GC~t~

When the Update finally came, Chrome was ready. It wasn’t the first time she’d pulled an all nighter to make sure tumblr wouldn’t drown in his own tears or something equally pathetic, after all. No, the Update itself wasn’t the bad part. It was what happened immediately afterwards that was the tricky part. tumblr always had problems after a premiere or a finale, but it was usually just a headache or slight nausea that was easily fixed with an aspirin or a marathon GIF making session. But this wasn’t a normal update. This was an Update, capital “u” mandatory. Everything had happened at once and tumblr was in the opposite of good shape. His glowing bracelets were discarded as well as his hat and headphones. His shoes were halfway across the room and his jacket was pulled up over his face.  
“Uuuuuuggghhhh,” he groaned.  
Chrome hovered in the doorway a moment before deciding, “I’ll go make some tea.”  
“Tea. NO microwave. Heathens make tea in microwaves. Kettles are- HEATHENS!”  
“No microwaves,” Chrome agreed absently as she went about making ginger tea. She didn’t bother trying to get tumblr into his bed and just helped him sit up on the couch and forced some of the tea down his throat. After much spluttering and coughing, he managed to down a whole cup.  
“Blrg.” He promptly collapsed.  
That, at least, made the sick website easier to deal with. If tumblr was sleeping (or unconscious, but technicalities) then he wouldn’t bug Chrome while she did other things. What was it that people made each other when they’re sick? Right, chicken noodle soup. Except she didn’t have anything that wasn’t microwavable at the moment. Well, she decided. Let’s see what I have to work with.

~t~GC~t~GC~t~GC~t~GC~t~GC~t~GC~t~

When tumblr came to, someone was waving soup in his face.  
“Wakey, wakey, Sunshine.”  
“Whazat?” Damn. OK, so he can’t speak english quite yet. Good to know.  
“Here. I made you Chicken Noodle soup,” Chrome told tumblr, a bit unnecessarily as she was waving the bowl in front of his face. “Now sit up and eat it.”  
Chrome offered him minimal assistance while he did as he was told, and then shoved the bowl and spoon into his hands. Immediately, she turned and stalked back to her bedroom.  
“Uh, Chrome?” he called after her.  
“What?”  
“This is a bowl of ramen.”  
“It’s got noodles and it said chicken on the packaging. Now eat.” Because she was scary, and could evict him at any time, he ate. Also, he was hungry, but mostly Chrome scared him.

The next week or so passed by in a blur of tea, ramen, and vomiting into the toilet. Chrome had eventually moved tumblr from the couch to his bed, and did the necessary things like force-feed tumblr, provide him with water, and make sure he didn’t drown in the shower. The last one was never to be mentioned again. By anyone. Ever.  
Of course, there were highlights to the week- ones that Chrome would be using against her friend for years. Such as when tumblr became convinced that he was something called a “slash sherif” and informed her that she was not allowed because slash only referred to boys and she was a girl. Or when he managed to keep up a nine minute monologue about hamsters and how they were taking over the world, but secretly. Really, 90% of it was fever induced hallucinations. Her favorite conversation went a little like this:  
“tumblr, what are you doing out of bed?”  
“The apocalypse is averted but the fight isn’t over!”  
“Sure. But what does that have to do with pears?”  
“Pears are the key, Kevin! The last key!”  
“And you’re trying to burn them, why?”  
At that point, he looked down at the fruit he was holding over an open lighter. “I don’t know yet. But that’s what the tablet said. You’re the one who translated it!”  
“Ok, back to bed.”  
It took some doing to pry the pear and the lighter from tumblr’s clammy fingers and steer him back to bed. It was made slightly more difficult by the fact that the entire time, he was struggling and yelling about dick angels and evil stanas.  
About a week later, tumblr’s fever had finally broken and he wasn’t vomiting every hour. Of course, he was still shouting random phrases, (A particularly memorable one was “I’m a dragonologist with a doctorate in dragonology and I can confirm that dragons act like whatever the fuck they want because they are dragons.”) but that was him all the time so Chrome just let it be. As much as she cared about her friend, Chrome was relieved when she deemed him well enough to get along without her there to keep him from dying from something ridiculous.  
She should have known her good mood wouldn’t last. Of course. Just- of course. The sentences ran through Chrome’s head on repeat as she surveyed the towering pile of paperwork stacked on her desk. This was what happened when tumblr had her undivided attention. What made it so much worse was that it so was not in the roommate agreement.


End file.
